Extenuating Circumstances
by nekohooch
Summary: My submission for My-name-is-foxglove's RoyAi challenge on LJ. The theme was 'Stuck Together'. Set way after the end of the manga/anime etc. I don't believe there are any spoilers, unless you don't know the Mustang Tachi or Elysia.


Here was my contribution to my-name-is-foxglove's "RoyAi Stuck Together" challenge thingamajiggy on LJ a looooong while ago. It is silly and fluffy and the result of having too much time on my hands. I'm not really happy with it but eh. Enjoy! ^_^

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><p>*knock knock*<p>

"She's here!"

*scramble*

"_**Aunt Elysia!**_"

"Shhhhhhh!"

"Aunt Elysia! You're here!"

"What is in the bag?"

"Something Mama suggested. She thinks it'll help solve the problem."

"Auntie Gracia?"

"Yup. Follow me, and be veeeery quiet. They'll still wake up if there is too much noise."

"Ok."

"Shhhh."

*tiptoe*

*whisper*

"Ok."

"Ok."

*clickclikclickclickclick*

*whisper*

"Ok."

"Ok."

*clickclickclickclickclick*

"Hmm?"

"What the-?"

"We don't have to be quiet anymore, right?"

"Morning Mama, Morning Daddy!"

"Heeheehee!"

"…"

"…"

"Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are we handcuffed?"

"Hell if I know. Children? Care to explain?"

"Aunt Elysia did it!"

"Yeah!"

"Hahahahaaa!"

"Elysia?

"What are you doing here?

"*pffft*The kids want you two to stop fighting. *snicker* So they called in reinforcements."

"You?"

"And mama."

"Gracia?"

"She's not here, but she came up with the *giggle* idea."

"What idea?"

"When I was little and I fought with someone, Mama would tell me that I needed to think of their side of things. Mama said, and I agree, that the two of you are much too adept at avoiding the subject, and each other, so she suggested that you two should stay together til you understand why the other was upset. Hence the handcuffs. I'll look after the kids today, and the sooner you make up, the sooner you can be free!"

"Bye Mama! Bye Daddy! We Love you!"

"…"

"What just happened?"

"…How are we going to get dressed?"

"…"

"…"

"She does have a point you know."

"…what?"

"We _are_ very adept at avoiding subjects."

"I think we had plenty of practice, dear."

"So how are we getting out of this?"

"By doing what she said."

"Buuut!"

"Roy, She is Maes' daughter, and Gracia helped. Do you think, under any circumstances, that we are getting out of this trap? At all?"

"…"

"Hmmmm?"

"…no."

"I thought not."

"So what do you suggest?"

"Solving the argument."

"Can't we just pretend?"

"Roy, even the children picked up on the fact that we are fighting."

"We are not. "

"We are. "

"No, we are not."

"Yes , Roy, we are."

"No, Riza, we are not."

"That is what this is called, Roy. Fighting!"

"…nu-huh…"

"You can be so childish at times."

"That's why you love me!"

"No, actually, I love you for other things, not the immaturity of your attitude."

"…meanie."

"Roy."

"Just kidding!"

"*sigh*"

"Roy, in all seriousness, what do you think we should do?"

"Wellll…if we turn the handcuffs just so…"

"Roy, no."

"But Riiiiiza! I am just trying to make the best of an odd situation!"

"I said no. We need to figure out how to get out of the odd situation! Not procrastinate!"

"I think that this is the best solution to solving the argument."

"We cannot solve every argument with sex."

"We can try!"

"No."

"Awwwww."

"No."

"But what if I…"

"mmmm…no…."

"…Seeing as how you are handcuffed to me in a way that you cannot reach any reprimanding tools, I think I should take advantage of the situation…"

"...Roy, I don't think-"

"…"

"…"

"…Good. Thinking hurts the brain."

"…really. Is that a proven fact?"

"…mmmmhmmm. Havoc put many hours of research in to thinking to prove this for us."

"…that was very kind of him…"

"…yes, I agree."

"..."

"... "

"…Roy, as much as I want to continue, we need to stop."

"…Riza…why?"

"Because we are _still_ handcuffed to each other! That makes what you are thinking of kinda difficult!"

"…"

"…"

"…we can manage."

"Managing aside, we still need to solve this…Stop sulking, please?"

"*sigh* fine. What were we fighting about?"

"I don't really remember the specifics…I do remember being upset about the tree…"

"The tree?"

"Yes. "

"Because I wouldn't-…It wasn't all my-…Riza, I told you I was-

…ok

…so I wasn't…Sorry?"

"Somehow I understood that…a fact that astounds me. Ok. I forgive you...And you?"

"What?"

"What were you mad about?"

"…"

"Roy?"

"…*mumbledymumble*"

"You know, considerng I am handcuffed to your back, the fact that I couldn't hear you is rather astounding."

"*sigh* The mistletoe."

"The mistletoe?"

"The mistletoe."

"What about it?"

"…you wouldn't let me kiss you when I put it up, _and_ you took it down!"

"Roy...that is…*sigh*…I didn't want to kiss you in front of everyone, hence why I took it down. I want to kiss you in private, and because we want to, not because of some parasitic plant!"

"But _I_ want to kiss you under some parasitic plant!"

"…you never told me that…I would have left it up, if I knew. I thought it was just up there to tease Edward and Winry."

"…well that too, but also to kiss you!"

"Well if you had just said that then we would not be in the middle of the room, handcuffed to each other's backs, talking about stupid arguments that are all based on a misunderstanding!"

"…"

"…You know, it seems as though we have a communication problem."

"That is because we are so good at talking without words, when we actually have to, we kinda fail."

"Kinda, Roy?"

"All right we fail miserably. I think so many years talking in code rewired our brains."

"Did Havoc prove that too?"

"No. Furey and Falman. Their sacrifice of normal brains was all for the greater good."

"Mmmhmmm…not buying it m'dear."

"But I sell it so well!"

"You do make a nice model but your sales pitch needs some work."

"…Back to the problem at hand…"

"Oh ha ha ha…nice pun."

"I didn't mean to! It was totally unintentional!"

"mmmmhmmm, what were you saying?"

"Back to the handcuffs…do you have a solution?"

"I do."

"…"

"…"

"...ummmm…you wanna tell me 'bout it?"

"…still working out the kinks Roy…no pun intended. I think if I twist part of these a certain way, then the latch will loosen and we can snap them off."

"And you know this how?"

"I had to get out of them one time at a party. Makes things a lot easier later on."

"…you've had practice with handcuffs, my dear?"

"Except the party, not much. I do know enough about them and their mechanics that I can get rid of them if I need to though. The party time was just a stupid joke Rebecca played on me."

"Uh-huh. Do I want to know?"

"Probably. But I am not going to tell you."

"Riiiiiiiza! But, but, but, now I wanna knooooow!"

"We're back to this again?"

"…"

"…"

"I am not being childish, Riza. I just want to know something, about my wife, that may come in handy sometime in the future. I mean we captured the Fuhrer's wife easily."

"Huh? What does that have to do with anything?"

"All I am saying is that, for renegade groups, the Fuhrer's wife is a rather large target. I know you could get out of almost any situation easily, but I would like to know strengths and weaknesses here. Being able to get out of handcuffs is a rather good skill to have."

"…So what you are saying is that I should tell you about my experience with handcuffs, on the off chance that I get captured, so that you know if I can get out on my own?"

"Well when you put it like that, it sounds bad Riza!"

"That is a dumb reason. You phrased it with lovely, flowery words, but I have spent too many years reading between your lines to be deceived, hon."

"…"

"…"

"*sigh* are you out of them yet?"

"Nice change of subject. I've been out of them for the past 5 minutes, Roy. You can turn around and let me get them off you now."

"How come I didn't notice?"

"My nearness made you swoon with joy, and you forgot everything but my dizzying presence?"

"And you accuse _me_ of flowery words."

"I was just showing my admiration of your extensive vocabulary."

"…somehow, I think your words are mocking me."

"All with loving undertones, Roy."

"…riiiight…"

"So what now?"

"Well, Elysia didn't know about your handcuff escaping skills…"

"And she and Gracia will keep the kids occupied for a while…"

"Are you thinking the same thing I am?"

"Probably not, but we might be in the same general direction."

"…Sleep?"

"Sleep."

"…"

"…"

"…I still think that I should know about the handcuffs."

"Later, Roy. Sleep now."

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><p>Hope you all enjoyed it :)<p> 


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